For Part 1 click here
For Part 2 click here
For Part 3 click here
For Part 4 click here
"A wise woman builds her house." This is what Hannah told me I was doing by staying home. I really did focus on my family that year when I was home with them. Jason had been worried that Stephi was growing up too quickly. She was 15 and had been hanging out with a boy that Jason really didn't like, and I was finally starting to see things that way my hubby did.
I started making Steph and Paul go to youth group at the church. At first they weren't very keen on it, but after a while they enjoyed it. They became invoved in the teen small groups at our church and Stephi even sang for the teen worship service. That year Steph and Paul really blossomed into a couple of nice, clean cut kids. And I felt good that I was finally giving them the kind of parental guidance that they deserved.
I really felt God working in our lives. Jason and I found a great small group also. There was even a gal in our group that used to practice Wicca like I did. I really connected with her and we felt that God had put us together for a reason. He showed us that we didn't have to be ashamed of who we used to be because now we were His.
So, we grew together as a family that year and we were all baptized as well (except Henry because he was too young.) I started volunteering with the kids youth group and even read through the Bible for the first time.
But my time at home with my family didn't last forever. Eventually Jason stopped selling Xray equipment because the market dried up and he was forced to return to hospital work. This meant that I had to return to work too. I was surprised to see the Christian nurses that I used to work with at the skilled nursing facility(SNF) at my church one Sunday. I didn't know that they went to my church! They were so happy to learn that I had changed my ways and told me that they had been praying for me. I told them that I had been off work for about a year, but that I was looking to return and they said there was a night position open at the SNF.
So the next day I applied and 2 weeks later I was working there. Just 2 nights a week. It was perfect. I'd probably still be there if Jason hadn't have been offered the job with ARAMCO in Saudi Arabia.
Showing posts with label Wicca. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wicca. Show all posts
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Part 3: Back to Work
For Part 1 click here
For Part 2 click here
When Jason came back home we began to rebuild trust and things became good again. We went to Vegas and we went on a cruise to the Caribbean. It was like a second honeymoon.
I found a great new job working at a skilled nursing facility in Sun City. Even though two of the RNs that I worked with were Christians, I was very vocal about my paganism. Sally and I actually had turned our essential oil products into a nice little cottage business and sold enough homemade soaps, lotions and incense to give us money to support our hobby. I read tarot cards for other nurses and CNAs on my breaks. It was great fun!
After I had been there for a year, the management decided to change the RNs to 12 hour shifts and I couldn't do this due to daycare issues so I took a job across the street at an HMO clinic. The Nurse Manager and I got along great. She was interested in a lot of the same things that I was. It seemed like a good move. One of the part time RNs there taught me how to spin my own yarn with spindles and wool and another RN there taught me how to knit.
Early the next year one of the part time RNs left and we began to use registry nurses. That is when I met "Hannah". I liked her and offered to read her horoscope and tarot cards. She said that she wasn't interested in that, but she really liked the homemade soaps that Sally and I made. In February she was working with one of the other nurses in the treatment room and I heard her telling a beautiful story of a queen named Esther and how this was related to a holiday called Purim. When I went into the break room during her lunch time I saw her reading the Bible.
One day when I was working the triage phone I saw some books sitting on the desk next to me and I asked her about them. She said that they were a really great series, but that she didn't think that I'd be interested in them because they were Christian fiction. She told me that she had brought them for another nurse, but she wasn't there today. I picked up the first book, Left Behind, and read the back cover. Hmm, it did seem like an interesting plot. I told her that I would read it. After all, I was nothing if not open minded. So she loaned the first 2 books to me.
I did read the first book. When I got to the end I was intrigued. I decided that if a bunch of people disappeared off the face of the earth I would become a Christian. But every time I thought of trusting Christ.... just the name of Jesus gave me a terrible sick feeling inside. How could I become a Christian if I couldn't even think of Christ without that sinking feeling in my gut?!
The next day I talked to Hannah at work and told her what I had been thinking. She said that there was a spiritual fight going on within me. That Satan didn't want to let go of me. Even if I thought that what I had been doing was harmless "White Magic", it had opened a door for evil to enter my life. I went home that night and prayed for the first time in a long time.
For Part 2 click here
When Jason came back home we began to rebuild trust and things became good again. We went to Vegas and we went on a cruise to the Caribbean. It was like a second honeymoon.
I found a great new job working at a skilled nursing facility in Sun City. Even though two of the RNs that I worked with were Christians, I was very vocal about my paganism. Sally and I actually had turned our essential oil products into a nice little cottage business and sold enough homemade soaps, lotions and incense to give us money to support our hobby. I read tarot cards for other nurses and CNAs on my breaks. It was great fun!
After I had been there for a year, the management decided to change the RNs to 12 hour shifts and I couldn't do this due to daycare issues so I took a job across the street at an HMO clinic. The Nurse Manager and I got along great. She was interested in a lot of the same things that I was. It seemed like a good move. One of the part time RNs there taught me how to spin my own yarn with spindles and wool and another RN there taught me how to knit.
Early the next year one of the part time RNs left and we began to use registry nurses. That is when I met "Hannah". I liked her and offered to read her horoscope and tarot cards. She said that she wasn't interested in that, but she really liked the homemade soaps that Sally and I made. In February she was working with one of the other nurses in the treatment room and I heard her telling a beautiful story of a queen named Esther and how this was related to a holiday called Purim. When I went into the break room during her lunch time I saw her reading the Bible.
One day when I was working the triage phone I saw some books sitting on the desk next to me and I asked her about them. She said that they were a really great series, but that she didn't think that I'd be interested in them because they were Christian fiction. She told me that she had brought them for another nurse, but she wasn't there today. I picked up the first book, Left Behind, and read the back cover. Hmm, it did seem like an interesting plot. I told her that I would read it. After all, I was nothing if not open minded. So she loaned the first 2 books to me.
I did read the first book. When I got to the end I was intrigued. I decided that if a bunch of people disappeared off the face of the earth I would become a Christian. But every time I thought of trusting Christ.... just the name of Jesus gave me a terrible sick feeling inside. How could I become a Christian if I couldn't even think of Christ without that sinking feeling in my gut?!
The next day I talked to Hannah at work and told her what I had been thinking. She said that there was a spiritual fight going on within me. That Satan didn't want to let go of me. Even if I thought that what I had been doing was harmless "White Magic", it had opened a door for evil to enter my life. I went home that night and prayed for the first time in a long time.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Big Blow Up
For Part One Click Here
So it was about a week before Easter when Jason told me that he wanted a separation. I knew that things were strained between us, but I had no idea that this was coming. I was devastated. We had only been married about 3 years at that point and Henry had just turned 2. Before I married Jason I had been a single mother for 7 years, raising 2 kids. I just could not imagine going through that again. And with another small child to boot!
I asked him if there was someone else and he denied it (of course). But with some not to difficult detective work on my part, I figured out who she was and made a little visit to her at her place of employment. Did I mentioned that this was also where my husband had been working just a few months earlier?
I found her and introduced myself to her and asked her (strongly suggested, rather) that she follow me outside to talk. We sat at a table on the patio and a calmly took out pictures of my children and told her the names of each one and suggested that she remember them since they would now also be a part of her life. She told me that she thought Jason was already separated. I explained to her that could only be true if she considered the 5 hours since he pulled out of our driveway that morning a 'separation'.
Right about that time Jason arrived. Evidently one of his former co-workers called him and gave him a heads up to what was going down. He looked so angry at me. I stood and yelled at him and asked him, "How could you do this to me? You told her we are separated!?!" And he look right at me and said, "We are." I couldn't believe it. I came unglued. I spewed a stream of obscenity at him and hit and punched him repeatedly. By then the hospital security (that's right...they worked at a hospital) was on the scene and I was escorted from the premises. I left humiliated and called my Wicca friend(lets call her Sally) who consoled me.
That was a horrible summer. Jason told me that he was moving in with his friend Mike, but he actually moved in with 'her'. I spent our 3rd anniversary alone. Mother's day alone. My birthday alone. I sent my older kids to spend time with their dad and I spent most of my time with Henry and Sally. I wasn't able to work. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.
So Sally and I started spending a lot of time working on our Wicca. I even cast a spell to get Jason back. Later that summer he did return home and somehow I forgave him (as best I could). Even though he disliked me practicing Wicca and was quite verbal about it, I continued to study and practice Wicca with Sally for another 2 years.
So it was about a week before Easter when Jason told me that he wanted a separation. I knew that things were strained between us, but I had no idea that this was coming. I was devastated. We had only been married about 3 years at that point and Henry had just turned 2. Before I married Jason I had been a single mother for 7 years, raising 2 kids. I just could not imagine going through that again. And with another small child to boot!
I asked him if there was someone else and he denied it (of course). But with some not to difficult detective work on my part, I figured out who she was and made a little visit to her at her place of employment. Did I mentioned that this was also where my husband had been working just a few months earlier?
I found her and introduced myself to her and asked her (strongly suggested, rather) that she follow me outside to talk. We sat at a table on the patio and a calmly took out pictures of my children and told her the names of each one and suggested that she remember them since they would now also be a part of her life. She told me that she thought Jason was already separated. I explained to her that could only be true if she considered the 5 hours since he pulled out of our driveway that morning a 'separation'.
Right about that time Jason arrived. Evidently one of his former co-workers called him and gave him a heads up to what was going down. He looked so angry at me. I stood and yelled at him and asked him, "How could you do this to me? You told her we are separated!?!" And he look right at me and said, "We are." I couldn't believe it. I came unglued. I spewed a stream of obscenity at him and hit and punched him repeatedly. By then the hospital security (that's right...they worked at a hospital) was on the scene and I was escorted from the premises. I left humiliated and called my Wicca friend(lets call her Sally) who consoled me.
That was a horrible summer. Jason told me that he was moving in with his friend Mike, but he actually moved in with 'her'. I spent our 3rd anniversary alone. Mother's day alone. My birthday alone. I sent my older kids to spend time with their dad and I spent most of my time with Henry and Sally. I wasn't able to work. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.
So Sally and I started spending a lot of time working on our Wicca. I even cast a spell to get Jason back. Later that summer he did return home and somehow I forgave him (as best I could). Even though he disliked me practicing Wicca and was quite verbal about it, I continued to study and practice Wicca with Sally for another 2 years.
The Past
I was watching What Lies Beneath today. And it brought back memories of when I first saw it. Jason and I were separated at the time and I was practicing Wicca.
I have thought about doing a post on this part of my life, but I'm not really sure how to start. I suppose that this is as good a way as any.
Jason and I had been married about 2 years and Henry was just 1 at the time that "The People" came to stay with us. That's what I called them when I talked to my work friend anyhow. They were Jason's friends from when he was a teenager. They were having some hard times and came to stay with us. Them and their 3 kids. It was just too much having them in the house along with me and Jason and Henry and Steph and Paul. I remember spending hours in my bedroom just to have some alone time.
I had always been into astrology and I had a friend at work that gave me a set of tarot cards. The next thing I knew I was reading tons of books about tarot cards, Wicca and candle magic. Even after The People moved out I continued with my fascination with it all.
My friend and I started meeting on the full moon to draw a circle in the backyard. We would burn candles and incense and cast simple love and money spells. We felt it was harmless and fun. But that all changed in November. My friend and I invited a coworker to join us. She wanted us to cast a spell on our boss because she was having a problem with her. We said sure, why not. That was on the full moon 2 days before Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving evening we learned that our boss's husband had died and she would not be returning to work.
That's when we really realized the power and the seriousness of what we were dealing with. I started spending hours researching spells and writing them in my own leather bound book. I collected tons of tarot decks and would do readings for anybody and everybody and my friend and I started making our own oils and incense and candles. We were consumed.
That next April Jason told me that he wanted a separation and I learned that he was having an affair.
I have thought about doing a post on this part of my life, but I'm not really sure how to start. I suppose that this is as good a way as any.
Jason and I had been married about 2 years and Henry was just 1 at the time that "The People" came to stay with us. That's what I called them when I talked to my work friend anyhow. They were Jason's friends from when he was a teenager. They were having some hard times and came to stay with us. Them and their 3 kids. It was just too much having them in the house along with me and Jason and Henry and Steph and Paul. I remember spending hours in my bedroom just to have some alone time.
I had always been into astrology and I had a friend at work that gave me a set of tarot cards. The next thing I knew I was reading tons of books about tarot cards, Wicca and candle magic. Even after The People moved out I continued with my fascination with it all.
My friend and I started meeting on the full moon to draw a circle in the backyard. We would burn candles and incense and cast simple love and money spells. We felt it was harmless and fun. But that all changed in November. My friend and I invited a coworker to join us. She wanted us to cast a spell on our boss because she was having a problem with her. We said sure, why not. That was on the full moon 2 days before Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving evening we learned that our boss's husband had died and she would not be returning to work.
That's when we really realized the power and the seriousness of what we were dealing with. I started spending hours researching spells and writing them in my own leather bound book. I collected tons of tarot decks and would do readings for anybody and everybody and my friend and I started making our own oils and incense and candles. We were consumed.
That next April Jason told me that he wanted a separation and I learned that he was having an affair.
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