The Big Blow Up

For Part One Click Here

So it was about a week before Easter when Jason told me that he wanted a separation. I knew that things were strained between us, but I had no idea that this was coming. I was devastated. We had only been married about 3 years at that point and Henry had just turned 2. Before I married Jason I had been a single mother for 7 years, raising 2 kids. I just could not imagine going through that again. And with another small child to boot!

I asked him if there was someone else and he denied it (of course). But with some not to difficult detective work on my part, I figured out who she was and made a little visit to her at her place of employment. Did I mentioned that this was also where my husband had been working just a few months earlier?

I found her and introduced myself to her and asked her (strongly suggested, rather) that she follow me outside to talk. We sat at a table on the patio and a calmly took out pictures of my children and told her the names of each one and suggested that she remember them since they would now also be a part of her life. She told me that she thought Jason was already separated. I explained to her that could only be true if she considered the 5 hours since he pulled out of our driveway that morning a 'separation'.

Right about that time Jason arrived. Evidently one of his former co-workers called him and gave him a heads up to what was going down. He looked so angry at me. I stood and yelled at him and asked him, "How could you do this to me? You told her we are separated!?!" And he look right at me and said, "We are." I couldn't believe it. I came unglued. I spewed a stream of obscenity at him and hit and punched him repeatedly. By then the hospital security (that's right...they worked at a hospital) was on the scene and I was escorted from the premises. I left humiliated and called my Wicca friend(lets call her Sally) who consoled me.

That was a horrible summer. Jason told me that he was moving in with his friend Mike, but he actually moved in with 'her'. I spent our 3rd anniversary alone. Mother's day alone. My birthday alone. I sent my older kids to spend time with their dad and I spent most of my time with Henry and Sally. I wasn't able to work. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.

So Sally and I started spending a lot of time working on our Wicca. I even cast a spell to get Jason back. Later that summer he did return home and somehow I forgave him (as best I could). Even though he disliked me practicing Wicca and was quite verbal about it, I continued to study and practice Wicca with Sally for another 2 years.

The Past

I was watching What Lies Beneath today. And it brought back memories of when I first saw it. Jason and I were separated at the time and I was practicing Wicca.

I have thought about doing a post on this part of my life, but I'm not really sure how to start. I suppose that this is as good a way as any.

Jason and I had been married about 2 years and Henry was just 1 at the time that "The People" came to stay with us. That's what I called them when I talked to my work friend anyhow. They were Jason's friends from when he was a teenager. They were having some hard times and came to stay with us. Them and their 3 kids. It was just too much having them in the house along with me and Jason and Henry and Steph and Paul. I remember spending hours in my bedroom just to have some alone time.

I had always been into astrology and I had a friend at work that gave me a set of tarot cards. The next thing I knew I was reading tons of books about tarot cards, Wicca and candle magic. Even after The People moved out I continued with my fascination with it all.

My friend and I started meeting on the full moon to draw a circle in the backyard. We would burn candles and incense and cast simple love and money spells. We felt it was harmless and fun. But that all changed in November. My friend and I invited a coworker to join us. She wanted us to cast a spell on our boss because she was having a problem with her. We said sure, why not. That was on the full moon 2 days before Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving evening we learned that our boss's husband had died and she would not be returning to work.

That's when we really realized the power and the seriousness of what we were dealing with. I started spending hours researching spells and writing them in my own leather bound book. I collected tons of tarot decks and would do readings for anybody and everybody and my friend and I started making our own oils and incense and candles. We were consumed.

That next April Jason told me that he wanted a separation and I learned that he was having an affair.